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Shitter’s Club

Scris de • 13 January 2009 • in categoria

0Autor: Frédéric Beigbeder
Rating: Frédéric Beigbeder - Shitters Club rating - recenzii carti
Editura: Trei

Frédéric Beigbeder - Shitters Club - recenzie carti

Aceste cărţi irită groaznic atunci când trebuie recenzate. Dar recenzia nu este decât un caz special de aşezare în text a unei activităţi pe care toată lumea o întreprinde: închizi cartea, ai gătat-o ("dovedit-o"), mai răsfoieşti câteva minute, te mai uiţi peste ce-ai subliniat şi gata ... e momentul. Ei, în momentul acesta, e loc de iritare.

Te întrebi: cum să vorbeşti despre autor? Frédéric Beigbeder. Cu un prenume de compozitor meticulos francez şi un nume de industriaş german din Dí¼sseldorf, l-ai plasa intuitiv şi convenabil undeva prin Alsacia. "Să fie nici-nici". Desigur, s-a născut în exact cealaltă parte a Franţei. Te întrebi apoi ce-a mai scris şi dacă lumea îl ştie, cât de cât, pe de-a-ntregul sau deloc. Dragostea durează trei ani se joacă nebuneşte prin Bucureşti, place, e postmodernă, teatrul tânăr, anarhic, încântător. Memoriile unui tânăr ţicnit e un rateu minunat, cartea a primit certuri şi palme în străinătate, e ticsită cu metatext din informalul birourilor de marketing şi advertising, rupe discursul mai des decât îl construieşte, personajul principal nu avea nicio şansă. Desigur, de Marc Marronnier, tânărul ţicnit, s-a îndrăgostit toată lumea.

Shitter"™s club, completarea trilogiei, n-avea cum să fie mai împăciuitoare. Miza este evidentă, în astuţii spaţio-temporale autorul nu se bagă - asta mai lipsea -, aşa încât cartea îşi propune simplu să descrie, oră cu oră, începând cu "19h00", traseul lui Marc Marronnier într-o noapte. Evident, nu una oarecare.

"Marc are douăzeci şi şapte de ani, un apartament fascinant, serviciu amuzant şi, cu toate astea, nu se sinucide", ba mai mult, diseară se va duce la deschiderea clubului "Shitter"™s". Pentru cei cu uşoare deprinderi de etimolog, răspunsul este "Da, de acolo vine numele", căci acest club este construit în locul vechii toalete publice, ceea ce ne duce cu gândul (mai ales dacă citim coperta 4) la celebra discotecă pariziană "Le Bains Douche", amenajată în interiorul unor foste băi turceşti. Merită menţionat că personajul refuză, pentru a ajunge la club, "un vernisaj-performance pe strada Beaux-Arts", "un dineu la Arc în cinstea fratelui vitreg al unui prieten al basistului lui Lenny Kravitz" şi "un rave party la Elyzee". Minunat! Însă trebuie să-i dăm dreptate, căci alegerea este cât se poate de judicioasă: în Piaţa Madeleine, perdeaua de la intrare nu v-a fi altceva decât un sul roz de hârtie igienică (doi metri înălţime), care nu este altceva decât accesoriul uriaşului scaun de veceu, care nu este altceva decât clubul în sine. Toată lumea se va droga şi apoi zbengui pe o pistă de dans complet submersibilă, în formă de closet, iar, conform unui orar secret, la un moment dat, se va şi trage apa.

Urmează, pe la "21h00", şase pagini cu lista de VIP-uri invitate, nume înşirate unul sub celălalt, dintre care i-am recunoscut pe Boris Elţîn şi Jaques Derrida. După aceea începe party-ul propriu-zis, unde Marc Marronnier se întreţine cu "o hoaşcă" jurnalistă la Vogue, este fermecător, ironic şi beat după primul capitol (adică exact o oră). Începe jocul unei literaturi simple, agreabile, fără minunăţii dar cu sare şi piper, lui Marc nu i se mai poate imputa nimic - e beat, naratorului cu atât mai puţin - îl urmăreşte pe Marc, care e beat.

După ce aplică pe unde prinde testul "Triplului De ce", în care, dacă eşti sănătos la cap, după al treilea "de ce?" ajungi să te referi la moarte, Marc droghează prietena DJ-ului cu ecstazy, tranchilizant de cai şi amfetamină. Încearcă, la fel, pe unde prinde, să facă rost de o domnişoară cumsecade care i-ar epuiza cele şase prezervative pe care şi le-a adus "că e flăcău ambiţios". După un duş cu vodka toată lumea iese afară, devastează maşini de lux, se deschid vene şi magazine, se ţin discursuri, se cade de pe ziduri şi se moare, mă rog, cam toate activităţile care corespund unei serate mai deocheate.

La sfârşit ... Ei aici e problema, că n-aş vrea să povestesc ce se-ntâmplă la sfârşit. În afară de faptul că, după cum era de aşteptat, se trage apa şi unii dintre dansatori se îneacă (mai ales familia care a venit cu copilul pentru a-i da heroină), Marc găseşte în baie două cadavre şi cam atât. Restul, dacă aţi citit ceva din trilogie, îl puteţi bănui (căci Marc se întâlneşte cu cineva), dacă nu, s-ar putea să vă surprindă un pic, măcar ca joc narativ.

În încheiere, aş vrea să felicit autorul, pentru 4 ore de citit furtiv, chiar dacă uneori exclamând "Hai, mă, dă-o-n ...", pentru textualismul delicios şi personajele flamboaiante, şi aş mai vrea să felicit editura, care a reuşit un asemenea stretching încât cartea (cu 16 rânduri pe pagină) a ajuns la nemaivăzuta performanţă de 280 de pagini. O operaţie inversă, şi romanul ar fi încăput foileton pe bilete de papagal. În sfârşit, Shitter"™s Club e un Amerycan Psycho mai cuminte şi infinit mai mic, fizic vorbind.

Scrisă de Octav Popa

Categorie: | Autor: |



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